Monday, August 31, 2015

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Eulogizing Argos


I picked up Argos in Ocala Florida. I had been with Pfizer for a little over a year I think and I decided I was ready for a dog. Florence was so exciting (ha) and I had plenty of time on my hands. So I did all the research and decided on a breeder. Argos’ original name was “Chance.” This was short for Fat Chance because he was the runt of the litter. Martin gets credit for Argos because he reminded me of reading the Odyssey in Mrs. Boleman’s class in high school. Argos was the dog bred by Odysseus before he went to fight the Trojan War. His loyalty is legendary since he waited 10 years on the dock for his master to return. I can’t remember what I paid but I left Ocala with a little cardboard box in the passenger seat with my new best friend in it. I made him a promise that we would have a great life together. This is my attempt to capture some of the memories from that life together.

One of my favorite memories is traveling out to Utah to head down the Green River. Arg rode in the minivan and couldn’t wait to get out. Once we were there I think he had the time of his life. We had two canoes and he would get anxious if we separated too much. His barking would only stop if we stayed close together. He also didn’t want to miss anything and I have a video of him sleeping while sitting up. We would stop along the way and throw the ball on a sand bar until it was time to get moving again. It was a great trip.

While I was working in Florence, Mom convinced me to use the money from the sale of my Tacoma to buy a sailboat. Argos was happiest there. Every weekend we would head down to Charleston and live on the boat. He slept across from me in the salon and I even got him to climb the stairs out a few times. When we were underway he would head up to the bow to bar at the waves as they broke. He hated splashing water.

Kathryn brought up that she will miss his face in the window beside the door. Argamemnon (he had so many names I am surprised he answered to anything) would wait for us to come home and you could be sure his silhouette would be there waiting. He would also make the best clicking noise as he walked on the hardwood floor. Late at night, he would slowly click from our bedroom to the back door when he would burst through the dog door to try and surprise a deer. I will miss that sound. I also loved the sighs he would let out when he laid down. We would say he was “bore”-gos.

After we had the kids the “A man” would ride with me to drop them off at daycare. He loved to be in the car and I would come back out and see him sitting the passenger seat waiting for me. He spent so much time driving back and forth from Florence I think the car was his second home in his mind. One night as we rode through Flo-town, Phil Collins’ “In the air tonight” came on the radio and the street lamps danced in the windows in such a way that it felt like we were Crocket and Tubbs from Miami Vice.

I am on a plane coming back from two weeks in California. One week was for work and the other was a chance to heal. Kathryn came out for the weekend and we rode up the coast and then Morgan came out and we hiked Half Dome in Yosemite and then the Narrows in Zion. I am sure I could come up with more stories but I am teary on the plane already. Below is what I wrote for the Mount Pleasant magazine. I don’t know if it will be published but I can’t conclude it better than this.


Argos has been my best friend for almost a third of my life. During that time we have had some amazing adventures and he has made me a better person. We have canoed down the Green River in Utah for 80+ miles and backpacked in the southeast for many more. He has been in the shotgun seat for more than 10,000 miles as i commuted back and forth to Florence while I worked there. On the weekends we lived on a sailboat and he learned how to jump in the forward hatch and climb up the stairs to get out. He is constantly on patrol for the sound of splashing water whether it be breaking on the bow or driving through a puddle. Argos retrieves the ball with the best of them either on Sullivan's or diving off a dock. He has presided over the girls I dated and helped me propose to my wife by carrying the ring on his collar. When my twins were born he welcomed them into my home and protected them while we ran around trying to keep the house together. He is a old dog now and one who is suffering from lymphoma. Despite that he continues to show me how I should live. No regrets for what was undone yesterday and no anxiety of what is to come tomorrow. We have tried chemo but the treatment was worse than the disease. So for these next few days he will maintain his position as the best friend I've ever had and then will leave this world on his own terms and feeling good. He is a unique soul that I pray to meet again in Heaven.

Friday, August 7, 2015

No Judgement Here

I'm currently on a flight to San Diego to hang out with Beau for the weekend. My first time leaving the kids overnight. I"m not nervous at all about it. I just miss them terribly already and I'm already feeling guilty for leaving them...although I know I shouldn't feel that way. But guilt will attack you when you're vulnerable. That I know.

Prior to having children I would never have empathized with the lady sitting a couple ros up from me who is traveling with her baby. Sad to say, I would have been annoyed at the loud cries coming from the child for the first hour of our flight.

But now? Now I completely empathize. I haven't been in her exact situation because, well, I haven't been brave...or crazy enough to take my children on a flight, but I've been a similar one.

A good friend of mine once told me that when your child is screaming in public (wherever you might be) and there's nothing you can do about it and you don't know why it's happening, that those who judge you, shouldn't and those who should, won't. It made sense.

I'm not judging. I know how embarrassed you feel and helpless at your child's screaming. Believe me, I don't want them screaming. It's not like I asked them to or that I find it humorous that we're disrupting your day, but it's happening. 

So next time you're in public and a baby is crying, take a look at mom. Does she look completely overwhelmed? Probably. Show her some grace. Buy her some M&Ms or better yet, a glass of wine and smile. Believe it or not, a friendly smile instead of a glaring look can help everyone.